was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
