dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize