he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
