Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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