I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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