No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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