I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
