My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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