video games are the ultimate cock blocker
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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