Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
