I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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