On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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