yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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