ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
