that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
