why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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