Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
