Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
