I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
