Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
