You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
