Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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