with your own penis?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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