all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
