So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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