You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
