Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
