You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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