i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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