we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
