If i come over, it means nothing
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Watching her eat just hurts me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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