to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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