I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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