you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
