the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
