in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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