doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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