turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize