this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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