That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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