It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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