i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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