he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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