I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my poor anus
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
