The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
