We're like a lot better than the average bears
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
