I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize