so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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