Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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