Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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