So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
