question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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