She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
