I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
