In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
