i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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