my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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