Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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