you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
