just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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