Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
