thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
