your room smells of hookers.
And success
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize