Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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