LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
