I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
