Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
