the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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