Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize