Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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