i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
