...so i touched it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
