Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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