last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
