and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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